Childhood.

I wish words could describe what I felt as I paced through the halls of my childhood home for the very last time. The naked rooms, only recognizable by the memories that painted the walls; the smell of summer rain seeping through the windows; the echo of songs dancing around the room that once held piano duets, the accompaniment of my youth.

I wish words could describe what I felt as I drank in the backyard. It had begun in a comatose state, but now is overabundant with life. The swing set my dad made, the gardens my mom attended, the hammock, the gazebo, the little pond, the fire pit, the basketball court, the shop, the ping pong table, the orchard, the hot tub, the tree house… I opened the door to return back inside and did so in a manor that makes sure no pet could run out the door. There were no animals in the house in this visit, the only thing that remained was the possible June bug that made its way in the day before. I laughed and let out a sigh realizing that my body had grown so accustomed to this ritual after years of practice.

I wish words could describe what I felt as I lounged on the carpet in my brother’s room. I was always jealous of the size his room and his easy access to the roof for stargazing. It was in this room after his first year away at college that I knew our relationship was changing for the better and that from that time on we would be close, really close.

I wish words could describe what I felt as I headed out the front door. It was difficult to close the front door knowing that soon it will be opened by a new set of hands. A set of hands that will not be callused by memories, but a set of hands ready to collect the blisters of settling in for the first time.

I wish words could describe what I felt walking across the driveway, suitcase in hand to the house that contained my best friend, my childhood partner, and waiting outside my second home. She would be driving me to the airport today. I remember when we both got our licenses. I remember when she got her first car. I remember when I drove her to high school before I was legally able to. This is but a fraction of the landmark times in life that we shared together, my best friend.

I wish words could describe.