Displaced.

I'm not really doing well right now.  

Last week of classes, then finals next week.

Everyone is extremely excited about the year closing and going home for the summer. I'm not. I'm dreading the end of school because that means I have no housing in Socal and I have to move to Norcal for the summer.  

Because of RCC, I've drifted pretty heavily away from my friends from school, so this last month has been kind of lonely when I'm in my dorm room or on campus.  I've gone to hang out with a lot of my RCC friends, but I have to drive at least 20 min to see two of them (Marshall and Nick... both of which don't really talk to me anymore... :(...) and then I've driven the whole 1.5 hours to Riverside to hangout numerous times..... just to try and find my niche...

Everyone from RCC lives in Socal, either around LA and further down towards San Diego...  and NO ONE lives in Norcal.... :-/.... This summer I'll be a minimum of 7 hours from anyone I know in California alone...

Also, this is the first summer I haven't gone on tour for Drum Corps... and of all summers, this one would've been the most ideal.  I would've been with close friends from previous summers and not had to worry about feeling displaced in my new "home."   I would've just traveled with a group of friends that I call family, toured Cali and seen those friends, and even had finals in Lucas Oil and seen friends from home.... But that's not the cards God has dealt me and sometimes it's hard to sort through that. 

Looks like i'm going to be doing a lot of self-reflecting this summer... and I just hope I don't slip further into this depression.

ONE THING that I AM looking forward to.... Sean and I are reading 4 intellectual books this summer, together. We're reading them and talking about them via video chat.  I love him, dearly. I'll be glad to have that continual communication.

I'm also taking an online course to get something under my belt, so that'll be good for my future plans.